Certified Parent

My wife and I finally completed all the necessary classes at the hospital where my son is going to be born. I used the title for this post ‘Certified Parent’ sort of as joke, but at the end of the parenting class we were actually presented with a certification. Now, I understand that labor, delivery, parenting, and changing the first diaper are all serious topics. But, there has to be a better way to educate first time parents on what to expect when the big day happens and you go from being a married couple to an actual family.

First up were the labor and delivery classes, which took up four hours of my life between two Saturdays. The whole concept of my wife having to deal with all the pain and frustration that comes from going through labor is scary enough. Being told of all the horrible things that can happen and the complications of having a c-section is not comforting. A more useful approach would have been to make the class interactive, going through the motions of a ‘normal’ delivery and kindly explaining how they deal with problems. Roleplaying like this allows the soon to be mother and father to become mentally prepared for what will, or can, happen in the next couple of months.

The nursing class was both an assault on my senses and intelligence. There is a lot of good information out there that  pregnant couples need to know about the joys and benefits of breastfeeding. The instruction on how to successful nurse our child was presented to us as if we were children. Some in attendance needed that type of instruction, much to my amazement, but on the whole it proved very disappointing. And, as a ‘red blooded male’, I never thought I would tire of seeing a particular aspect of the female form, but alas I did.

The final class dealt with what to do when we finally get the baby home. My wife, bless her, who works at a day care with at least 10 infants a day simply smiled and laughed at my attempts to swaddle and change the diaper of the fake baby. Everything else that was presented either seemed very common sense, or I can rely on my wife to give me proper instruction based on her own experiences.

I know many people find these classes helpful, and for them it is perfect. For myself, because I started reading the books and checking out the wonderful website http://www.babycenter.com, (All upcoming or newly parents should totally check out this site out, it’s awesome!) I feel prepared to not fail as a parent. There are still plenty of lessons that I will have to learn, and I want to thank the hospital for helping convey some of those lessons. Some lessons can only be learned hands on, and no amount of reading or instruction can help with that. Since my son will be here in about 3 weeks my realtime instruction will start soon enough and both my wife and I just can’t wait.

sleepy face
Creative Commons License photo credit: treehouse1977

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  • http://shimone.info iamshimone

    Great post.

    While there are different types of birthing classes the format is generally the same.
    Having taken the classes and had a child I can share some of what I found most helpful.

    By far, the two most helpful lessons I learned were in the labor and delivery class:

    a) How to help your wife during labor, what the stages of labor are and what to expect during each stage. My wife's labor was 36 hours and I used every trick we learned. Knowing all the ways I could “help” be supportive both physically and emotionally meant I could share in the experience, understand what was going on, know what to do, not freak out, bring my wife back to earth, calm her, pace ourselves and explain her progress to the nurses.

    b) Why or why not to have a natural birth (sans epidural). This session was very helpful to both of us and allowed us to make informed decisions.

    Nursing class wasn't as helpful.

    There was a strong effort to convince everyone that breast feeding was the essential and best method of feeding a child. As we came to learn later – breast feeding (or not) is a personal choice that comes with many variables – will the baby take the milk, do they latch on, do they get sick, does the mother get sick, can the couple handle it, outside opinions (god there are many), outside influence etc. For what it's worth we went to a lactation consultant after we had trouble getting our son to feed properly and then breast fed him until he was 14 months. During that time other new parents we knew went through a myriad of their own experiences and made their own informed decisions.

    Most importantly – ignore what anybody else has to tell you and decide what YOU think is best. There is a ton of misinformation out there and everyone feels the need to share it. That part of being a new parent may bother you the most so be ready for it because everyone is an expert on child rearing.

    The getting home class was all but useless.

    Nothing in the world can prepare you for those first few weeks. I can say this though – if you have any help at all, parents, friends, relatives – make sure they are available and ready to assist in the first month. The lack of sleep will take you by surprise and you may find it difficult to feed yourself, shop, work, or do anything but get your head wrapped around this new lifestyle. At the very least have meal solutions planned in advance for the first week. Oh, and don't forget to learn how to use the car seat *before* you leave the hospital.

    Good luck Brad. This will be the greatest experience you could ever imagine!